What do we say?

Singing and music have never been a strength of mine. If I ever sing in the shower, I make sure no one is around. If I sing while driving down the road, I make sure the music is so loud I can't even hear myself. Singing at church is done in a muffled tone, so not to scare the congregation off before they get to hear the preacher. Needless to say, I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Some of my family are blessed with the gift of a beautiful voice. However, this gift was not one God chose for me.  Occasionally I get the privilege of standing beside or in front of a lady who has a voice as beautiful as an angel. I'm always secretly hoping the people in front of me think it's me who has that magnificent voice. Well....... my wish finally came true. I was singing at our ladies bible study during the opening hymn, and there was a lady behind me with a voice to die for. Her ability to sing far out done any dream I ever had for singing. I belted out my pitiful tone, just because I knew she would drown me out. The song ended. I felt great. I got to sing loud and proud, because I knew my singing was covered up by her sweet voice. We dismissed in prayer and headed for our classes. After class we returned to the sanctuary for a lecture. A lady who had stood in front of me during the opening hymn spotted me, and smiled. She said 'You sang beautiful while ago'. I smiled and nodded. What do I say? Do I let her think it is me? Do I set her straight? I spoke up with a smile (almost a laugh), 'That wasn't me.' She quietly sat down in front of me, and we opened our hymns to sing another song. I am certain after that song she knew it wasn't me. The woman who was behind me earlier had sat somewhere else.

Listening to the Holy Spirit can sometimes be a challenge. Sometimes I listen to the Holy Spirit in the shower, when no one is around. Sometimes the Holy Spirit talks while I'm driving down the road but the music is so loud I can't hear him. Sometimes the Holy Spirit speaks to me at church, but I'm afraid speak up more than a muffled 'amen', so the congregation won't wonder what's wrong with me. The gift of the Holy Spirit is freely given to all who acknowledge and accept, even me. Occasionally I get the privilege of standing beside, or in front of, someone who always seems filled with the Spirit. Someone whose face always seems to glow because they have been in the presence of God. Sometimes, I secretly hope the people around me think I'm filled with the Spirit too. It's contagious. The Spirit makes others want to be filled with the Spirit. Well.........my wish can come true. The Holy Spirit's ability to direct, and help me, far out does any dream I've ever had. I can belt out my pitiful attempts at life and know the Holy Spirit can multiply my efforts, if I back up and give Him space. Our life can be filled with great joy and enthusiasm, by allowing the Holy Spirit's indwelling power to lead. We cross paths with different people every day. Perhaps someone will look at us and say, 'you helped me when I needed it', or 'you prayed for me', or 'you encouraged me when I was sad', or 'you did a great job'. And when someone gives us a compliment, do we just smile and nod. What do we say? Do we let them think it's us? Do we set them straight? I sat by a lady at supper a few nights ago. I was giving her compliments for a job well done on something she is in charge of. She took her index finger and pointed up. She said 'It wasn't me, It was all Him'. She knew to give credit where credit was due. She knew it was God working thru her. Do we point up, speak up, and say 'That wasn't me, it was all God'. And when life proceeds on to another chapter, will the people you've crossed paths understand it wasn't you? Will they understand it was the Holy Spirit in you, directing you, and know it was all God.

A quilt from a quilt show in Little Rock, AR

Kindred Spirits and Bosom Friends

When my daughter was younger, there was a movie she used to watch called 'Anne of Green Gables'. I think I may have enjoyed the movie more than my daughter. Anne was a red head tomboy orphan who was always up to something. The movie follows Anne thru her life as she grows up, and allows the viewer a chance to see quiet a range of shenanigans that seem to follow the girl everywhere she goes. During the course of the movie, the little tomboy blossoms into a well educated beautiful woman. It was in this movie that I first heard the phrase 'Kindred Spirits' and 'Bosom Friend'. Anne used them in the following way:

"Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world."
-L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Anne made this comment about a lady who previously had gotten crossways with Anne, but in the end Anne realized there really were some similarities they had in common. 

"A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will, too. Do you think it's possible?
Anne said this to Marilla shortly after she arrived at Avonlea.


The honesty of Anne's words cut straight to the heart. Don't we as women all wish for a true 'kindred spirit', or a true 'bosom friend'? 

Growing up shy, bashful, and backwards created huge obstacles in finding a kindred spirit, or a bosom friend. I had a tendency to confide in my horses, talk to my horses, enjoy my horses, and dream about my horses. Taking time to establish a strong relationship was too much stress for someone so shy. It was just easier to build a relationship with a horse. Funny I know, but it worked for me. I could stay in my comfort zone of not communicating, not exchanging thoughts and feelings, not worrying about if or when I'd last talked to someone, and enjoy the solitude with a large warm blooded animal. The effort it would take to establish a kindred spirit or bosom friend was too great for this shy girl.

I think the years spent with my grandma in her later years, and becoming a grandma myself, required me to go at a slower pace than usual. The slower pace gave me time to become more reflective, and think more about what was actually happening around me. In both of these relationships I started to realize it was the small things that meant the most. It was the flowers picked, the hay bales jumped, the dollar store visited frequently, the drive to a cousin's house, the books we read, the Thomas trains pushed, the pinto beans and cornbread we ate, the apples we picked from the back yard, and the peaches we picked at the orchard, these were the things I treasured the most. I was taught in both these relationships we have but one turn in life. I think it was the realization of the one turn in life that opened me up enough to give space to the possibility of a kindred spirit or bosom friend.

Finding someone you can consider a 'kindred spirit' or a 'bosom friend' is a true rarity. There are a couple women I consider have earned a ranking in my book as a both a 'kindred spirit' and a 'bosom friend', they are my grandma (Modenia) and my sister (Cindy). With both these women I have felt, at times, they knew me better than I knew myself (and that is scary). However, they were  neither judgmental or critical. They always listened with an attentive ear and loving heart. Offering advice only when asked. Giving a nod of the head in agreement with me, or giving me a long pause in the conversation if they disagreed. I got the point, and they never had to say a thing.

There have also been a few women I consider to be a very strong 'kindred spirit'. Each relationship occurred at a time, and in a place I totally was not expecting. They blossomed on their own with very little nurturing. They just showed up out of the blue. I think God put them in my path at a specific time in my life because it was just what I needed to get me thru. He knew what I was going to need before I did. He went ahead of me preparing the way by placing these women in life. I'll not mention their names, but I have thanked God for giving them to me just when I needed them. Each 'kindred spirit' has it's own unique set of blueprints, which create our unique relationship. There are still struggles within myself to open up, but the rewards received from each of these relationships have been worth the risk.

As women, perhaps we can look for that special lady who needs encouraging, lifting up, prayed for, talked to, or just called. We can make a difference. I've had women make a difference in me, and I'm not sure they even know. If the opportunity presents itself I will tell them what they have meant to me. It was the small things they did, the gesture of kindness, a prayer said for me, the acknowledgment that I was in the room, a smile given when I was feeling down, or maybe by an email or text just to say hi.

Many kindred spirits are in this world. Take the first step, open the door to the possibility of creating a kindred spirit. Who knows, in the end you may find yourself a new bosom friend. Wouldn't that be the biggest treat of all?

Excess baggage

In fifty years of life, and thirty one and a half years of marriage, a lot of 'stuff' can accumulate. This 'stuff' creates memories and piles up all over the house. Our house is no different than any other, except Tim and I tend to be pack rats. I have a tendency to hang onto 'stuff'. Some good, and some bad.

Some favorite 'stuff' I have held onto is:
- My dad's wallet that was in his pocket on the day he died. I have kept it just as it was when it was given to me. Inside can still be found pictures of my mom, my brother, my sister, and myself in the accordion plastic file. Other items still in the wallet are: a blank check from dad and mom's checking account with First National Bank, his last AQHA membership card for the year 1980, a business card from Bonds Brangus Farms listing dad as manager, a notarized card dated May 1, 1977 where David Pryor approved his appointment as a law enforcement officer, his drivers license with an expiration date June 30, 1982, an ID card from the Faulkner County Sheriff's Dept. signed by Charles Castleberry, a Faulkner County Law Enforcement officer membership card, and other various cards and documents.
- Hundreds and hundreds of photos. Everyone of them is a treasure, but some how most of them are stored in boxes. Tim has tried to give me the task of putting them on dvd, but there are way too many for me to want to tackle that task. I told him the kids can have that task after I am gone.
- A crown from a children's Christmas play. I asked Tim to dress up as the The Great Late Potentate for a children's Christmas musical, and he agreed. He dressed up in a costume that looked like a purple gown, and there was a crown that perfectly matched his gown. He actually pulled off singing and dancing in a baptist church without getting kicked out. The hat holds a special place in my heart because of his gesture of unconditional kindness and willing spirit.
- Some of my children's teeth they lost when they were young children. (By the way they came in handy when our daughter misplaced her tooth she had just pulled. She was distraught. Remembering the canister holding her previously lost teeth, it was only a few steps away. I opened the canister, and took out a tooth. Going back to where she was still searching for the misplaced tooth, I spoke up "I found it". The tooth fairy never knew the difference.)
- My mom's wedding gown (Don't tell my sister), and a picture of her wearing it with dad at her side. They made a beautiful couple.
- Mom's engagement ring from dad. She received it when he proposed by the old one lane bridge south of Wooster.
- A portrait of Jesus that was hanging over my grandmothers bed on the day she died.
- A couple what-nots from my sister telling me how 'good' of a sister I am. (lol)
- Videos of both sets of my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary.
- A hunk of horse tail cut from my favorite horse. Boss was the best horse for 32 years, until he died. He helped raise my kids.
- A saddle blanket given to me by my dad. It was one of the last things I remember him giving me. Even though it has red fringe on it, I have worn it proudly on different occasions at horse shows.
- A four generation portrait with my grandma, my mom, my daughter, and myself. I'll be forever proud we took the time to have it made.
- A Good News Bible given to me by JoEd Woodward, my Sunday School teacher. The bible reads like a story book. As a kid it was fun to read, and kept me in the Word. There are so many notes in the bible, I like to look at it and see what inspired me at the time.
- For 32 years I carried a card in my wallet. It was the size of a credit card. On the face of the card was a picture of a blue bull. The bulls heart was red and looked like it was about to pound out of his chest. The card read 'My heart enlarges at the sight of you'. It was a card Tim gave me when we were dating. I thought it was the cutest thing. I carried it for 32 years until it got so brittle it was falling apart.
- A pair of my daughter's first black patent shoes she wore to Sunday school as a tiny infant.
- My oldest son's first bible given to him by the pastor that married Tim and I.
- A couple of my youngest son's black vest he wore as a young child. 

Some unfavorite 'stuff' I have held onto is:
- Clothes I have out grown, but keep expecting some day I might wear them again
- Books I started reading, but never finished
- Negativity
- Grudges I should have let go of a long time ago
- Clutter around my house, and in my closets, that sometimes is overwhelming and gets discouraging
- Books and magazines that need to find a new home
- Worn out blankets that obviously have no value and never will
- Broken or worn out pots and pans that have no use
- Guilt of not calling people I care about just to say 'hi' and check on them
- Sorrow of missing a wedding, funeral, memorial service, birthday party, etc.
- An unappreciative heart for a kindness done to me
- Apologies not given
- A bad temper
- Stubbornness

Both the good and bad define who I am, and who we are. We are to live a victorious life for Christ, not one of guilt and condemnation. While we sometimes feel guilty and condemned for the things we do, and have done, with God's forgiving grace we can live a life glorifying to God. If we are designed and made by the Great Creator, don't you think he wants his creation to celebrate life? A few weeks ago I came across a verse that spoke volumes to me. 'He was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. The punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.' Isaiah 53:5. Something REALLY amazing to me, is the verse was written thousands of years ago and in 2015 it was just what I needed.

The Great Late Potentate's Hat 

 My daughter's shoes from infancy

My oldest son's first bible

 My youngest son's vest from childhood

 My dad's wallet

 My mom's engagement ring

 My children's baby teeth

 A four generation photo with my grandma, mom, and daughter

Bible from JoEd Woodward