Fruit

Arguments erupt with no known cause sometimes. Tempers flare like Mount St. Helens. Words slice and dice the opposer. Voices escalate with the desire to be heard and understood. Fingers are pointed. Eyes turn red. Doors are slammed. Damage is done.

Sound familiar?

As a living and breathing human being, I have both witnessed and participated in such chaos. As a participant, much of the time, my opposer tends to be someone I am very close to. It seems we expect more out of those we care about. With expectations comes disappointments. Disappointments creates frustrations. Frustrations create hurt. At times, hurt leads to resentment and bitterness. Resentment and bitterness leads to sleepless nights and stressful days. 

One particular sleepless night I woke up. My mind started the downward spiral. A previous disappointment left me frustrated and hurt. Resentment and bitterness began to take root. The past few years have taught me I need to do my dance in life a little different. Change hasn't ever been easy for me. Tendencies to get in a rut and stay there for a while are my specialty. Perhaps the saying ‘it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks’ applies. Trying to do a different dance this late in the game is a challenge. However, with baby steps it seems there could be hope. 

As I lay in bed I paid attention to what was going on in my mind, and in my stomach. My mind was racing, and my stomach was churning. It was maddening. I took a deep breath. I needed God’s help. The vicious cycle dragging my mind into negativity, and tying my stomach into knots, had stirred me long enough. Contemplating the things going thru my mind, I lay there determined to tackle this problem. I knew God was with me, and could help me. I looked to Him, and opened my mind. He took the thoughts in my mind causing bitterness and resentment, and opened my mind to thoughts of thankfulness and appreciation. It was a battle within myself. It was a very hard battle. I lay in bed many nights with resentment and bitterness swirling in my head. Oddly enough it’d become a place of comfort. This night I decided to try and do it different. 

As I pushed aside the thoughts that were robbing me of joy, my mind was available to be filled with something better. Some reason the Holy Spirit came to mind. He’s been with me since I was thirteen, and tonight He was there waiting on me to recognize His presence. I moved myself over and gave Him room to occupy more of my thoughts.  

Teaching children, when I was younger, I memorized a song about the fruit of the Spirit. It comes to mind frequently when a preacher mentions the fruit in a sermon, or I happen to come across scripture that mentions the fruit of the Spirit. I must say, I’ve been proud of myself at times when I’ve been able to quote the fruit of the Spirit in a public setting. Little do people know it was a song written for children, and myself as an adult learned the fruit. 

Lying in bed my thoughts circled around the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit kept running thru my mind. I wanted the fruit of the Spirit, and I NEEDED the fruit of the Spirit. I needed less of the crap going thru my head that was creating bitterness and resentment. I wanted a better dance. As I leaned on God, He let me know I can have a better dance. I needed to give Him the mess going thru my head, let it go, and trust Him. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. 

Galatians 5:22-23

The following definitions can be found in Webster: (There are probably more appropriate theological definitions, however I feel these definitions are adequate for today.)

Love - A feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.

Joy - A feeling of great happiness.

Peace - A state in which there is no war or fighting.

Patience - The capacity, habit, or fact of being patient (able to remain calm and not become annoyed when waiting for a long time, or when dealing with problems or difficult people).

Kindness - The quality or state of being gentle and considerate.

Goodness - The quality or state of being good (conduct that conforms to an accepted standard of right and wrong).

Faith - A strong belief or faith in someone or something.

Gentleness - The quality or state of being gentle especially : mildness of manners or disposition.

Self Control - Restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.

I wanted and needed the fruit of the Spirit. Easy enough said, but to actually have it can sometimes be a different story. Thoughts that brought about bitterness and resentment, were replaced with a few thankful and appreciative thoughts. A place in my heart that was once filled with darkness, was now filled with a little love, joy, peace, etc. You get the picture? The shift of my focus while lying in my bed, for those few minutes, gave the Holy Spirit a little breathing room in my heart. It felt great. I wanted more. 

There are many more ways for the fruit of the Spirit to work in our lives. This is only one small way God spoke to me at this time. When you find yourself wanting more of the fruit of the Spirit……. listen. God can probably show you something that will give the Holy Spirit a little breathing room in your heart. I feel confident saying ‘You’ll want more’.  

We will struggle to do our dance different. Something about the rut we get into is hard to get out of. As we practice more, I’m certain it can be done. Taking time to be deliberate in watching what’s going on in our head, nipping it in the bud, and giving into the directing of the Holy Spirit will cause a shift in the movement of our feet in our dance. With God on our side, all things are possible.

In all of life, I can’t think of anything better to have. Who wouldn’t want Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faith, Gentleness, and Self Control?